Pointless University Stories III - Naked Guy
As mentioned previously, I lived in a suite-based dorm. We had four single rooms and a double room, two bathrooms and a kitchen/living room area in an enclosed unit. They were stacked four high in a low-rise building, with stairwells on both ends of each unit. In second year, we were living in one of the end units, on the top floor. The bottom floor of the same stack was the guest suite (you could rent it for cheap to put up out of town friends or visiting parents), and one of the suites on it was the one they reserved for moving in people who ended up hating their suitemates, so only one person, the RA for our stacks, lived in it at the time. Our second stairwell was rarely used since it wasn't between two stacks, and two of the suites on it were empty, and you could only go out the door on the ground floor, not get back in it. A couple of the guys in my suite used the landing of that back stairwell as sort of extra storage for their bikes and such, since it was so rarely used, and they often didn't even bother locking that back door. All of this is relevant to the story, I promise.
One morning, I got out of bed to go to my 8:30 lecture (getting stuck with 8:30 lectures was a specialty of mine, sadly) and there was some guy sleeping on the couch in our living room. He had a blanket. That was it. No sheets. No pillows. No clothes. And the blanket wasn't acting as a particularly good substitute for the latter.
I wasn't exactly offended--nothing I hadn't seen before, but nothing I wanted to see at 8:15AM on my way to NATS1010, either. But I was late for class, so I threw Naked Guy's blanket over him a little more judiciously, started mentally composing the screaming match I was going to have with Pete and/or Red later when I figured out which one of them Naked Guy belonged to and went to class.
When I got home 4 hours later, one of the froshies from our double, Wendy was in the kitchen and Naked Guy was not in the living room. She was kind of a quiet, shy kid, super nice and smart, but definitely not an extrovert. She tentatively asked me if I had seen anyone in the living room when I left. 'Oh, yeah, Naked Guy,' I said. 'I saw him, I figure he belongs to Pete or Red.'
'I don't know,' she said. 'I was surprised to see him, and I sorta screamed and ran back into my room. When I came back out he was gone, but I haven't seen Pete or Red.' Apparently it was something Wendy hadn't seen before. Oops.
So we called our RA, Rob, and had him come up to the suite. He woke up Pete and Red, who disclaimed any knowledge of Naked Guy. We checked with Cindy and Karen, too, but never really imagined that they would have anything to do with Naked Guy, and indeed we were right. So now we had a bit of a mystery on our hands. A missing Naked Guy with no discernible connection to our suite.
Security was called, plus the Senior RA, etc, etc. Descriptions of Naked Guy were given again and again. Nobody had any idea who Naked Guy was. Until, at one point, Wendy looked out the window and saw a bunch of people loading out of the guest suite. 'That's him! Naked Guy!' she yelled, and everyone ran to the window expecting to see, well, a Naked Guy.
Naked Guy was dressed at that point, but Wendy had apparently managed to remember some of his less delicate features well enough to spot him. It turns out, he was a member of one of the bands that had played the college pub the night before and he'd been staying in the Guest Suite. But the suite was so crowded that there wasn't really room for everyone, so he'd just wandered off looking for somewhere else to sleep, assuming Cal was like a normal dorm with common rooms and whatever. He'd eventually made his way up the back stairs to our suite, where the door wasn't locked because those stairs were so seldom used, and found our living room and our couch and decided it was a great place to sleep. The fact that he was naked all the while apparently didn't both him much.
After that, they put automatically locking doors on all the suites.