Out to Lunch
There is a situation involving my 12-year-old son and his friends that I am not good at handling.
Often they arrange to come to my house and then head to the deli or pizza place for lunch. They enjoy this activity, as it makes them feel a little independent.
These children know beforehand that this is the plan. However, they arrive with no money, or with only a dollar or two. My son is then left to pay for their food, often after they have ordered it.
I have asked my son to tell his friends before they arrive to be sure they bring money, but he feels uncomfortable doing so.
I have even mentioned to one mother that they are planning to go up to the shopping center for lunch, but the child arrives with empty pockets. I don't know why the parents don't make sure their children have enough money to cover their own expenses when they eat out by themselves.
I usually reimburse my son for the extra expense, as he doesn't get much allowance, but this annoys me and puts a dent in my budget. How would you handle this?
Dear Amy:
There is a situation with one my son's friends that I'm not sure how to handle.
Often, we'll arrange for our son to visit the friend at his house, but then the mother will send all the kids off to the mall for lunch.
I don't feel safe having my 12 year old son unsupervised in such a busy place, and my budget doesn't stretch to cover these weekly restaurant lunches.
I've tried sending my son over without enough money to cover lunch, but the mother still sends them off to the mall. I feed him before I let him go over to visit, but when everyone else is going out, he doesn't want to be the one to stay behind.
I even tried mentioning to the mother that my child doesn't carry money for those kinds of outings, but she sends the kids anyway. If she doesn't want the kids at her house, why does she invite them?