Conversations from my Driveway
(Our next door neighbours were having a garage sale)
Me: Hey! Hey! You're parked half blocking my driveway! Can you move please so I can get out? I don't think I can make it without hitting your car!
Him: (something into his cell phone in another language)
Me: Excuse me, sir, I know you're talking, but I need to go, and you're blocking my driveway. I don't think I can get out without hitting your car. Can you move it, please?
Him: (into cell phone) Momento, a puta esta gritando sobre o carro.
Me: Gritando? Nao. Mas estacionamento e proibido nessa lado da rua, e estacionamento e proibido em frente de mia entrada. Preciso que voce move seu carro.
Him: (silence / moving of car)
Really. If you're going to call someone a whore to their face, it's probably best not to assume they can't understand you.