acho que não

(Our next door neighbours were having a garage sale)

Me: Hey! Hey! You're parked half blocking my driveway! Can you move please so I can get out? I don't think I can make it without hitting your car!

Him: (something into his cell phone in another language)

Me: Excuse me, sir, I know you're talking, but I need to go, and you're blocking my driveway. I don't think I can get out without hitting your car. Can you move it, please?

Him: (into cell phone) Momento, a puta esta gritando sobre o carro.

Me: Gritando? Nao. Mas estacionamento e proibido nessa lado da rua, e estacionamento e proibido em frente de mia entrada. Preciso que voce move seu carro.

Him: (silence / moving of car)

Really. If you're going to call someone a whore to their face, it's probably best not to assume they can't understand you.

Ever week my organic box includes a bunch of bananas. Every week I do not eat them all before the point at which I consider bananas too ripe to be edible. (Note that this is the same point at which most people begin to consider bananas sufficiently ripe as to be edible.)

So what I do with them is break them up into small pieces and throw them in a plastic contain with 1/3 of a cup of milk per banana and toss them in the freezer. When that's frozen together, I bring it out and add some splenda (though sugar would work just as well for people who aren't trying to lose weight) and throw it all in the food processor (though, blender would work better for those who, you know, have one) until it's creamy.

Insta-banana milkshare, practically guilt free since it's made of things like bananas and skim milk and not things like ice cream.